Lol perfect response to Wajahat S Khan’s chicken shit “apology”.

Bitchin' Caustic Ruminations

So, I recently came across this NAUSEATING article by Wajahat Khan, a “defence analyst” par excellence (or so he would have you believe, if you look at him strutting around on your screen with a self satisfied smirk on his face, the man is nothing if not in love with himself), in which he COMPLETELY shifts blame on others, under the guise of contrition and shame (which he never shows throughout this long drawn bullshit of an article).

For reference, the dude, along with some of his “similarly minded” (read, completely for sale and totally up for grabs for anyone who could give them such a high pay raise) colleagues decided to join a yet to be launched television station called “Bol”, which was owned by Axact. I think it’s enough to say that Axact has always had a dubious reputation and its credibility was COMPLETELY demolished by an…

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A handy list of healthy vegan products in gERMANY

A Vegetarian in Germany

Below are a bunch of random notes about various brands of different products that I’ve tried here in Saarbruecken.

Mexican

Tortillas:

  • tortillas at Rewe (can’t remember the name): decent consistency, reasonable flavor; recommended
  • tortillas at Karstadt (El Fuego brand??):  very dry and flaky, thin, fall apart easily; not recommended
  • Don Enrico tortillas (from Edeka?) were not great, but not awful.
  • er Durum “tortillas” (Turkish store): not too thin, not too thick, not doughy, nice chew, seem to be made from a higher protein flour; hold together well; recommended.  Come in normal, large, and extra large.
  • I ordered blue corn tortillas online from a Mexican grocer. They weren’t cheap but were very tasty!

Tortilla chips:

  • El Fuego Chili Chips at Rewe.  They’re coated with some kind of yellow powder–mostly spices but also some strange stuff that I don’t recognize.  Not much corn flavor.  Not recommended.  2.09 for a small bag.

Salsa:

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Remembering Shakeela

November 3, 2013

As I write this I’m sitting in my lawn in clothes that are covered in mud, its 12:51 am and I have just returned from Shakeela’s funeral in Sukhwaal near Fateh jang, the date has now changed to 3rd november 2013.
When someone close to me dies, I have a standard response that kicks in every single time. I shut my self off completely and start going through the motions of what is expected of me, untill the time it is safe for me to break down and be sad in solitude.  
After the funeral, as I walked the labyrinth of streets leading from her ancestral home to where I parked my car outside the village, I still couldnt really believe she had passed. I said goodbye to her father in a dream like state, not really hearing the words of condolence coming out of my own mouth. I was moved to tears when her mom hugged me though and told me to keep visiting her as she sees Shakeela’s face in all her friends, I controlled my self, its not cute watching a huge man like me cry. And at that time it finally hit me, Shakeela really is no more among us.  
Shakeela’s fight against cancer is now well documented through the facebook page “Remembring Shakeela” which was used to raise funds and support for shakeela. Ultimately though it turned out to accomplish so much more than that. The overwhelming support from the FASTian community and complete strangers from around the world was a source of great joy and hope for Shakeela, that is something I know for a fact. She told me once that in the darkest moments of her fight, she visits the page and seeing all the beautifull comments and wall posts make her want to carry on.  
But before cancer, before all the pain and suffering that came with the disease she did have a normal life and right now it seems fitting that I talk about that.  
The first time I ever saw Shakeela was in the ITC class during our first semester at FAST, she was this happy, bubbly little thing dressed in her trademark abaya eager to learn and impress the prof. She had this aura of earnest energy about her, the ability to energise any place she walked into. We immediately became part of a circle of friends which included Ali wiqar, myself, Babur Nawaz, Arsalan Malik and Shehzad Saifullah.During our BS we did a lot of the usual crazy things uni kids do as a group, bunking classes, having impromptu biryani and ice cream parties, fooling the juniors, arranging various events. And believe me some of the most whackiest and mischevious ideas used to come from Shakeela, the thought of which brings a smile to my face to this day :).  
Like the time we bought a stall in the campus funfair and as all the guys in our group happened to be extremly lazy, myself included, we had nothing planned and nothing to sell on the stall. Shakeela came in the morning and saw the empty stall, ordered me to go and buy some charts and markers and came up with same games that people had to pay to play. As a result our stall was one of the highest earners and we blew all the profits on a group dinner.  
She had this way about her that made people come and confide in her. She was the perfect listener, friend and therapist. Whenever we had fights among the group, she was usually the one who made us apologise to each other and made things right again.I can write a million more words recounting all our crazy, happy and sad moments togather but I wont because this is no eulogy, I would leave that to a better writer than me. This is just my way of letting my friend know that I will always miss and remember her. And with the following verses by Kim Thompson I shall conclude My thoughts.

Although unheard I thank you
For always being there
Even when you were bedridden
you always seemed to care  
You meant so much to all of us
you were special and that’s no lie
you brightened up the darkest day
and even the greyest sky  
Many tears I have seen and cried
they have all poured out like rain
I know that you are happy now
Cause you are no longer in pain.    

Goodbye my friend.

Happiness

August 19, 2013

It is such a fleeting thing, happiness. When you have it you don’t realise how important it is for you. It is when you loose it, that essence inside you that lets you see the silver lining in the bleakest of clouds, when you loose that you feel like a leaf free falling into the abyss of despair.
You are in hell now, and you have no idea how long your stay is going to last this time around.
May you never feel THAT.

Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
I thought of you and where you’d gone
and let the world spin madly on

Everything that I said I’d do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn
And the world spins madly on

I let the day go by
I always say goodbye
I watch the stars from my window sill
The whole world is moving and I’m standing still

Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
The night is here and the day is gone
And the world spins madly on

I thought of you and where you’d gone
And the world spins madly on.

4 1/2 years in FAST and i’ll finally be getting my bacholers degree in CS after the finals inshaAllah, Which by the way start from the fourth of january.
Makes me kinda nostalgic about this hell hole and apprehensive about the future because I dont have a game plan, Baharhaal Allah maalik hai! 🙂

My house of cards…

December 25, 2011

And when one by one Allah calls all your bluffs, it feels strangely liberating…. like when you remove warm items of clothing almost violently in a stuffy over heated room and can breathe again.

Now you have nothing to prove, no chip on your shoulder.
Now you may live your life…..

“People give flowers as presents because flowers contain the true meaning of Love. Anyone who tries to possess a flower will have to watch its beauty fading. But if you simply look at a flower in a field, you will keep it forever, because the flower is part of the evening and the sunset and the smell of damp earth and the clouds on the horizon… That is what the forest taught me.That you will never be mine, and that is why i will never lose you…I will always remember now that love is liberty. I will always remember you, and you will remember me, just as we will remember the evening, the rain in the windows, and all the things we’ll always have because we cannot posses them.”

An Excerpt from Brida by Paulo Coelho

 

Rumi’s Prayer…

November 28, 2011

Oh Lord,
I seek more of You than to name Your Name…
We are the flute: our music is all Yours.
The light of the soul sets not and has no yesterday.
Love is the astrolabe of your secrets.
If the light that illuminates the world were to draw near,
The world would be consumed.

God you have chosen me to be Your house.
If I take annoyance at every rub
How wilt I become a polished mirror?
O God, show us all things in this house of deception:
Show them as they really are.
Through love the stake becomes a throne
Through love the king becomes a slave.

Our Soul, the breath of our praise, steals away
Little by little from the prison of this world…
Our breaths soar with the choice of words, as a gift from us
To the abode of everlastingness.
Then comes to us the recompense of our praise,
A recompense manifold from God the merciful.
Then You cause us to seek more good words, so that
Your servant may win more of Your mercy.
Verily the source of our delight in prayer
Is the divine Love which without rest
Draws the soul home.

Prayer

November 28, 2011

,God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
,Courage to change the things I can
.And wisdom to know the difference