I hate my thinking self.

December 31, 2008

When there’s electricity, there’s no gas. And when there’s gas there’s no electricity. But hey at least we are not getting bombed, right? wrong!!!! An army operation is underway barely at a distance of 15 mins from my home, in jamrud Khyber Agency. What a wonder full world we live in…………..

Sometimes when I am in a thinking mood, I have visions of myself dead, my corpse bullet ridden or converted to smithereens in a suicide bomb blast. All thoughts of my future, the things I still haven’t done, the achievements without my name written on them, forgotten. The only questions that come to mind are, how will my parents cope?? My mom, she isn’t very good at the notion of me not being around. Whenever I have to go out of town, she calls me 4,5 times a day. And heavens forbid, If my cell phone doesn’t respond, She panics.

My dad, like all dads is strict on the outside and really sweet inside, how will he cope??? who will he reprimend on driving carelessly?? at annoying my sisters?? at not getting good enough grades?? at getting up late??

Welcome to hell…… my hell……. our hell.


14 Responses to “I hate my thinking self.”

  1. Nen said

    I live in the same city as you do. But Somehow I never get such thoughts. Infact I’d be seriously surprised if I’m killed in any of the blasts. I’d be like “you kidding me, right? Me dying in a bomb blast? Come on now, turn back the lights on.”

    But hey, thanks for the post, I better start considering the death in a bomb blast or something similar.

  2. UTP said

    these days if we let our imagination run wild…we will not be able to live…I am believing in conservative imagination for the time being…I gotta live…

  3. shine87 said


    Well, of course you don’t mate. No one thinks that they are going to get blown up unless and un till they really have to. I only think about that when I have nothing better to do, there is nothing good on tv, No new books to read, not even an assignment to finish. Thats when I think about it 🙂
    Maybe its this damned Hayatabad, the most gloomiest place on this planet no doubt! not a soul to be seen on the roads accept wanna be racers and the SHAH KASS crowd after 10.pm.


    Good Idea, I better start doing that myself. 🙂

  4. Nen said

    Ok, now that’s interesting. The blasts have come close enough to rattle my windows. I change my mind. I’d be surprised if I don’t die in a bomb blast.

    Geo is quick:

    “PESHAWAR: A series of massive blasts has been reportedly heard in Peshawar, the capital city of NWFP province on early Thursday, police sources reported.
    Police is trying to locate the exact scenes of blasts however, no casualty reports have so far been received in the incidents, police confirmed.”

  5. Daanish said

    Great post,you are feeling the pulse of events!
    May Allah Hum Sub Ke Hafazat Furma aye,A’meen!

  6. siras said

    I feel sad now!
    You need to think of positive things, when you have nothing better to do mate!

  7. shine87 said

    Duly noted maam! 🙂 😛

  8. shine87 said


    Hahahahaha….. Calm down mate. We are tough people, I am sure we will out live these bloody talibs!

    @ Daanish

    Sum Amin! 🙂

  9. Aadil said

    Sad sad situation we are having in our backyards which produces posts like these; not an ideal start to a new year least! 😦 I only’ll have to curse the infamous U-turn took by mush to please his western masters at the cost of injecting gloom in our polity and all these events are nasty repercussions of that.

    May peace prevail in our land and our minds!
    Be happy my friend! 🙂

  10. Ayesha said

    Completely identify with your situation 😦

    I too had written a line that goes something like that, “I have often seen myself lying in the pool of blood, weeping over my own lifeless body”

    Faith in God is what keeps us moving. Cheer up!

  11. Seher said

    you sure have scary visions!!!
    a shreik rundthru my being!!!

  12. Ria said

    ah what types of things you guys thinking of here. Be positive. Have faith. After all we are muslims. we dnt have to be scared of death. one thing which is right is, sometimes u dnt care what ll happen to you but what will the people do who left behind.

    I accept the situation is not gud and the policies of mush or others ruining our country. but we are the future and we must not spoil our minds by thinking like this.

  13. ALI said

    Hie don’t be worry my country mates,these bloody situation will be cotrol very soon and Allah will make our country peaceful.

  14. ALI said

    Hie don’t worry my country mates,these bloody situation will be control very soon and Allah will make our country peaceful.

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